Regret
I wish life had a rewind button! Oh glorious greatness if we could go back in time and fix our mistakes and right our wrongs. Hindsight is always better than foresight because we can see how a decision or lack of one impacted us and others in a million ways. If we could live a life without regret….
How it would be different if we knew what we know now and be 25 years old again! Financial, relational, parenting, career, education, spiritual…oh the list goes on. We are complicated souls and life is messy, beautiful, heartbreaking and precious sometimes all in the same moment!
” The saddest summary of life contains three descriptions – could have, might have and should have” – Louis E Boone
Hubs and I are empty nesters now and we have spent more than a moment or two reflecting on the parenting years and the story of our life together so far. There is much we would change if we could, some within our control and much which was not. We did our best to fill our home with love, laughter, joy and an open table where there was always room for one more and every day we purposed to create overflowing memories for our family – enough for a lifetime.
We have found along the way that love is risky and messy but so worth it.
The years will speak volumes for each of us as time will be the “truth teller “of our stories. My big huge heart prayer is ours will be a good story as we learn from yesterday and lean into tomorrow!
We Can Do Tomorrow Differently Than Yesterday Without Regret
We are wiser than our younger selves and can learn from our past. See the missteps you have made and make amends where you need to but be kind to your younger self. If we had not gone through the rocky places, we might not have grown into the person we are today.
It is Okay to Make Mistakes
Learn from them and move on. Forgive others … and yourself. This step may be a tough one. It was (is) a big one for me. We are our own worst critic,
Take Good Care of You
Anyone who has flown in an airplane has heard the flight attendant give instruction at the beginning of the flight “should the cabin experience sudden pressure loss, stay calm and listen for instructions from the cabin crew. Oxygen masks will drop down from above your seat. Place the mask over your mouth and nose, like this. Pull the strap to tighten it. If you are traveling with children, make sure that your own mask is on first before helping your children.”
We are told to take care of ourselves before anyone else who may need our help because if we don’t neither of us will survive. Take care of yourself, body soul and spirit or you will be of no good to anyone else.
Find Joy
Laugh well, often and celebrate whenever you can. Life is short, confetti is fun and friends matter. Look for ways bring joy and be joy to those around you. Be different, be unexpected and swim upstream if you must.
Practice Gratitude
This is a game changer for me when I want to wallow in regret and frustration. We have much to be thankful for. Food, clothing shelter. Even the poorest among us live better than most in the world. Choosing thankfulness causes us to be forward-looking instead of constantly peering into the “rear-view mirror” of our life.
Be Adventurous
Adventure means different things to different people, but, don’t make this step easy. Adventure is meant to stretch you and take you out of your comfort zone. Look for something every day big or small to practice adventure. I believe this is where the magic happens!
Gather
To gather means “to come together; assemble or accumulate; bring together and take in from scattered places or sources”. Become a collector of memories, good friends, children, and stories. Invite others around your table to share a meal. I believe there was a reason Jesus ate with his friends and enemies. Walls are broken down and relationships become stronger when you sit with another around a table. Life is better together and we were created with community in mind.
These days, when I feel myself getting stuck in shame of regret, I am remembering to step back, whisper thank you for the blessing of being alive and having a fresh beginning and I return to a place of gratitude and grace.
Blessings my friends –
How do you deal with regret? Love to hear from you!
This is a beautiful message. “Gather” is one I want to do more – with friends and family and our highlight reels of memories! I agree that gratitude and positive focus just feels so much better, no matter what is happening on the outside.
Kristie- Would love to hear what your gathering is like ? Dinner, games, a walk… how are you planning to gather those you love ?? Blessings as you draw those most special to you and create a beautiful story together!
When we talked this morning about this, you didn’t tell me it’s what you wrote about today! I’m grateful for my past and what it’s made me – good, bad, ugly and beautiful. Thank you for the encouragement and ideas. Makes me think of someone I may need to make a dinner date with, just to break down some walls.